Relationships are all about exchange. Exchange can be made with money, material possessions, companionship, emotions, time and just about any kind of energy you can imagine. These exchanges can only be done on three levels, however, judgment, justice, and mercy. These exchanges also reflect the three levels of love as understood by the Greeks, eros (desire), philia (friendship or family love) and agape (unconditional God-like love). 

The lowest level of relationship is bribe and take, often mistakenly called give and take. It's the level of relationship governed by self-love or desire and adversion and is rooted in judgment. 

The middle level of relationship is exchange, which is rooted in fairness, as in "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours." It's governed by the law of justice and negotiation. It's the foundation of all lasting and happy relationships.

The highest level of relationship is give and receive, which is governed by the law of mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. It's agape love, called charity in the New Testament.

Understanding these principles has been one of the most valuable things I've ever learned in understanding relationships. 

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